His Flame
by tccarty
Summary: Commander 'The Butcher' Shepard is mad, bad, and dangerous to know, even more dangerous to love, but Lt. Kaidan Alenko is attracted to him like a moth to a flame. Dark/Canon with AU moments. Rated 'T' for language and violence. M/M-Romance. Discontinued.


_Disclaimers: Nothing here belongs to me – and I take no blame for any of the following._

_1. I have never written a MShepard fic. I have never written a RenegadeShepard fic. And I have also never written an M/M fic. And I never planned on it. This could be interesting. Or a disaster. Or both. _

_2. Rated 'T' for language and violent situations. Rating might go up in later chapters._

* * *

Kaidan hates Commander Sebastian Shepard before he even sees him. And his first impression does nothing to change his mind.

The Normandy is still docked. A slumbering beast waiting to be awakened.

The Control Information Center is hushed with quiet anticipation, and even Kaidan feels something of the excitement though he does not share it himself.

Captain Anderson steps forward into the light, clears his throat behind a closed fist, and begins to speak.

He does not say much more than is already known, and that is not much. Kaidan stops listening and studies the man.

David Anderson is a living legend. An icon of the Alliance. And a hero of humanity. But he is only a man.

His features are heavily carved with age and experience. He looks tired and older than his years.

There is still strength to him though. In the straightness of his back. The steadiness of his deep baritone voice. And the directness of his gaze.

Kaidan cannot see the color of the other man's eyes, but when they make contact he feels as though they are looking straight at him.

Had he thought there was any weakness in the Captain, he wonders. The older man reminds him of the cedars that were on his parents land. They both only grew in strength with age.

There is a warmth to him. A familiarity. And he knows here is a man who will earn his respect.

Though it is the other two men with him that has his attention. One pushes. The other pulls.

Standing slightly behind the captain's right side the alien stays in the shadow. The stripes of the markings on his face glow with a ghostly illumination. And his avian eyes shine eerily from the dark.

Green. They are the same color of his nightmares.

Perhaps feeling eyes on him, the turian shifts his head and looks straight towards the human near the front.

There is nothing even remotely human in that gaze. It is predatory, and he feels like prey. His heartbeat quickens and he has to remember to breath.

He tenses. And he could not move if he wanted to. Time slows.

The alien's insect-like mandibles separate in what he recognizes as a turian smile.

Kaidan learned long ago to never trust a smiling turian.

The alien looks away and Kaidan releases the breath he had not known he was holding in. The hard and cold steely visage of the turian had brought back too many memories.

Anderson turns to the man standing to his left and introduces him.

As though he needs an introduction, Kaidan thinks.

Commander Sebastian Shepard. The Hero of the Blitz. The Butcher of Torfan.

The man stands half in the light and half in shadow, and apart from the Captain with his arms folded across his chest. He does not move, and seems completely unaware, or unconcerned, with the attention.

The lighting reveals the disfiguring scar along the left side of his face in harsh detail. It has the look of a badly healed burn. The skin red and uneven. The other side is in shadow.

There are signs of a recent fight. A black eye. And a broken nose. Kaidan would guess it is not his first by the look of it.

He is not a big man. But he is powerfully built. And his wide shoulders give hint of his hidden strength.

Kaidan would also guess that Shepard had not lost the fight. And that the other guy looked much worse.

Probably started it too, he knows. It was men like Shepard who gave the Alliance a bad name. Who gave humanity a bad name.

He hates everything about him.

The Commander remains still and silent.

Anderson clears his throat and turns to the turian.

Kaidan keeps his eyes on Shepard.

There is nothing. He does not know what he had expected to find.

Shepard lifts his eyes and looks his way. The light reflects against their pale blue color like ice, or glass.

Kaidan feels as trapped as he had under the gaze of the turian. Though it is a different trap that holds him.

Shepard glares back, as though daring him to look away.

He does not back down, and half of Shepard's mouth lifts in what might be a smile. His eyes darken, deepen.

Kaidan's heartbeat stumbles in something that is not fear. In something completely unexpected.

He breaks the contact, whatever it was.

Ice? Had he thought that Shepard was ice? The man is fire. A flame.

He has a feeling the other man is laughing at him.

Kaidan tries to concentrate on the Captain. But he can still feel those penetrating eyes on him. Like a loaded gun pointed at his head.

Anderson finishes much too soon for Kaidan, but not soon enough, and it is time to meet the officers.

When Anderson shakes his hand he also pats his shoulder, in an almost friendly embrace. There is a welcoming warmth in his faded eyes, and in his sad smile.

His handshake is supportive. Here is a man who uses his strength for others.

Kaidan is surprised when the turian comes up behind the Captain. As a Council Spectre he is supposed to be on board in a representative role only. But the alien's presence makes him uneasy.

Spectre Agent Nihlus Kryik. What is he doing here?

The Spectre bows in the turian way with three claws held against his throat.

Kaidan hesitates. It could be nothing, he rationalizes. Especially with human and turian relations being as they are.

He wonders if perhaps he is wrong. But he knows that he is not.

This particular greeting is at best an insult. At worst a dangerous threat. Or nothing.

Is that smugness he sees in the steel blades of the alien's face?

He feels he has to be careful here. He cannot answer the same. But if he gives the protocol response, that would acknowledge the power the Spectre has over him.

Kaidan almost smiles. There is only one thing he can do. Though in its way it might be the most damaging of responses.

He folds all of his fingers in against his own neck and bows back.

He holds his breath waiting. He has just told this powerful Spectre that he is no threat. It is a sign of peace, for a species that has no need for it.

Kaidan recognizes what he thinks is surprise flicker across the turian's face. And something like amusement.

The turian moves away, and he is not sure if he had won or lost that strange encounter. He does notice though that the next marine receives the proper two-fingered greeting from the Spectre.

What did it mean?

His thoughts are interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat near him. And not just anyone. The last person he needs.

Kaidan snaps to attention before Commander Shepard.

The smirk on his face is one of arrogance. And there is a harsh cruelty reflected from his light blue eyes.

This is a man who uses fear and intimidation to demand respect.

It might be stubbornness. But he is determined not to give him what he wants. What he expects.

"Lieutenant Alenko, I've heard a lot about you."

Shepard's voice takes Kaidan by surprise. It is much too soft, but broken. It reminds him of a scratchy old record.

The Commander squeezes his hand in a painful grip. And there is a challenge in his eyes. He feels his biotic energy pulsating in his blood.

Kaidan is reminded of a night he spent outdoors during a thunderstorm. He had never felt so alive as when his biotics had answered the call of the lightning.

"Not as much as I've heard about you, sir."

And none of it good, he thinks.

Shepard laughs as though he understands perfectly what Kaidan means. His laugh sounds something like the purr of a cat. Or a growl.

"I just bet you have," he smiles revealing perfect teeth that is a strange contrast to the rest of him. Though the smile does nothing to make him less dangerous, if anything he seems even more so.

When the Commander leaves the breath returns to his lungs. The warmth to his body. And he feels the chilled sweat on the base of his spine.

Kaidan does not know what to make of the meeting. But one thing is for sure, this is going to be an interesting mission.


End file.
